Come on people...

So I have forayed into the world of online dating.  And holy crap there are some crazies out there.  Along with some people who just have issues.  And a few seemingly nice, normal people.  However to keep my sanity and vent a little I would like to list out some don'ts for my fellow singles.
1. Pictures
Please no Fabio pics.  If you are not Fabio on the cover of a novel you should not be wearing a pirate shirt open to your middle.  And look like you have a wind machine.
Obvious bathroom pictures.  I know you want to do a full body picture but I don't need to see your toilet.  Also keep your shirt on.  If you want to show you're fit, how about a pic at the pool or the gym.  Not like you are greased up for a cameo on the Jersey Shores.
And lastly, no duck face please.  Or close ups of your lips, or other feature you want to highlight.  Just saying.
2. Introduction email
This has about broken me.  Please for the love of all that is good in the world use real, whole words for your first contact.  U R QT. is not going to get a response.  It's going straight into the trash.
And it that same vein "damn U R cute, you look 15 want to meet?" is going to get a response, but not me replying- it will be me calling Chris Hanson.
3. Profile
Maybe this should have been number one but we will go with this.  Pick a name that works for you like some mash up of your name/initials or your favorite activity/place/sports team.  But not THAT favorite activity.  Names like bareishowilikeit or iamjustthatnasty (changed slightly).  Because this is your first impression on the person you are trying to contact or the people who are looking for you.
And, I am just mean, but when I read a guy tying to be all walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, etc I am not believing a word he says.  Also, drama, baggage, and other cutesy stuff is not working for me.  When you start talking about being a teddy bear abandoned by a previous owner I feel that I would spend the whole date hearing about your ex.

All that being said I am meeting some interesting people.  It's really cute when you find something in the profile (other than the photo) to comment on and strike up a "conversation".  Anything romantic aside I have "met" a couple people who are pretty cool and so these people make it worth sorting through all the others.
Thanks for reading through my venting :)